I'm So Happy I Could Cry

I've been waiting for this day for a long time, Paris Hilton's hair extensions are here! I can finally have the long flowing blonde hair I've always wanted, it's just a clip away. It pays to dream big, because dreams really do come true. In all seriousness, how do I get a piece of this action? I can maybe brand my own eyebrow extensions to make it a unibrow. Just clip it on and viola: Bert's sister. It'll be cooler than the eye patch. Screw Paris, our show is called, Bert's B.F.F.

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